The loneliness of secrecy

A friend of mine emailed me these pictures this week (as always, click on the images to see them larger), and I just have to share.  Since we are about two weeks away from leaving for our first real non training duty station, I've been thinking a lot about how true it is that the submarine faction of our military really is the "silent service" in more ways than one.  Already we've run into situations where not only can Colin not share his day with me, but I can't share things with our friends and family either.  This is especially hard for me because I share just about everything with my close friends and family.  Keeping something from them, especially when it's about something so big, is really tough for me.  It's definitely going to be one of the hardest things about this lifestyle that I'll have to learn to adjust to. 

In all honesty, during our time with the navy I've probably already over shared at some point, mostly just because I didn't know any better.  Luckily, until now it hasn't been too big of a deal, and the "classified" or "top secret" information Colin has told me about I either don't fully understand, or couldn't find another person who would be interested in hearing about it to share with.  However, this is all about to change because now we're in the big leagues :)

Things like scheduling, and what he does during his days at work seem so trivial to a civilian normal person.  If I had a business trip to go on, you can bet that everyone in my immediate life would know all about my schedule and why I was going.  This just isn't a luxury Colin has.  I don't want to get too "big brother,"  but what it really comes down to is his safety - which is and always will be a top concern of mine.  When you look at it in terms of life or death (drastic, I know), keeping quiet doesn't seem like such a big sacrifice to make. 

This is also why it is so important to find a good group of fellow spouses that are going through the same thing.  They are quiet possibly the only people you can confide in, in both times of happiness and sadness.  So here's to hoping this new batch is ready and willing for just one more addition!  

With all that being said, as a future preface for those unavoidable awkward conversations - if you ask me something navy related and I get all run aroundy and fidgety, understand that I'm learning, and that if I could share, I definitely would.