Renovation is more fun with friends!

This weekend our dear friend George drove up for a visit, and we put him straight to work!  I can't express enough what a huge help it was to have some more manpower to get us through the end of the demolition.  After the "hey, hi, how are you" moments had passed, we busted out the mini sledge hammer and got to work on the rest of the tile in the entryway and in front of the fireplace.  This is one of my absolute favorite things, but since the boys were so much more efficient, I decided to finish scraping the back room instead.

The finished fireplace demo.

The boys working on the entryway

Since we're replacing 13 doors in the house, and hardware can get expensive, we decided to try and spray paint what we already had to match our bronze fixtures.  I only took a picture after I applied the final coat, so I'll be updating this section later today after I finish with the sealant.  It worked great and saved us a ton of money!

The last thing we did for the day was finishing priming all of the door frames (we're also saving those since they're in pretty good shape and it'll save lots of $$).

George working hard!

Since the boys worked really hard all day, we headed to the Bremerton Brewfest for the rest of the evening!  I volunteered to be the DD (of course), since these two have long awaited a beer drinking reunion (and I don't like beer).  Ultimately, it was a little bit of a letdown.  The "commemorative beer cups"  were small, plastic, and paled in comparison to other cups we've gotten at brewfests before.  The lines were long and there were no food vendors, so the restaurants along the streets were selling hamburgers and hot dogs over the fence.  It seems super silly unsafe to me to have a beer festival without food, but it is Bremerton I guess!  The highlights were definitely getting more information on local breweries (including some from Poulsbo!), and catching a glimpse of Colin's future ship, the USS Stennis, after taking a wrong turn and ending up at the base! :)

The first beer -

The last beer.

After only being there a short time, 10 vendors had run out of beer, and the lines were getting longer and longer, so we decided to head back to a local bar in Poulsbo to get food and end the night.  After our stint at Tisley's Europub, these boys got back to what they do best - eating tots, drinking beer, and playing video games!  What a successful weekend long reunion!

Obviously, after the previous days excitement and hard work, we took Sunday morning nice and slow.  Once we had gotten George on his way back to Portland, Colin tried his hand at cutting the tiles for the fireplace with our new tile saw.  I think it came out perfectly, and I can't wait to lay them today!

We had initially chosen these pretty expensive accent pieces (almost $3 a piece!) for this area, but after a great suggestion from a friend, we looked into buying a sheet of smaller tiles used for back splashes and bathrooms, and cutting it up to make our own.  It worked out great and saved us a bundle!  Not to mention we love these accent pieces better than the ones we had originally chosen, and because they were netted together, we only had to use scissors to get those cuts perfect :)

Our floors should be getting here today (yay!!!!!!) and thus begins a long week of getting tile and laminate done.  My goal is to be done with all of this and on to painting doors and moulding by the time Colin's mom comes to visit the first weekend in August!  Wish us luck!

It doesn't matter to Lao Tzu if it's covered in cling wrap, a couch is still for napping!

Day Two: Todelo, OH

Hello from Ohio!  Ok, so we've finally reached somewhere where I have decent enough internet to update you all on the craziness of the last couple days.  I think it's best to separate it into parts:

Part 1: Leaving Connecticut

For the last week or so the navy has been promising guessing that we would leave each day, and each day we packed up and got ready to go and then something stopped us from actually getting on the road (that "something" was usually navy medical).  Then, on a sunny Tuesday morning in June, I got the text that Colin had his medical records in hand and we were set to hit the road.  As soon as he got home we packed up, thanked the beyond wonderful staff at the Rodeway Inn, and booked it before they could change their minds. 

As far as the actual logistics of Colin's medical hold, he's going to continue waiting around, we just get to do it in the comfort of our own home.  Although nothing is official, word on the street is that his waiver has been denied, and he will be redesignating in the fall(ish).  A lot still needs to be figured out, but he will for sure be staying in the Navy.

Part 2: Frackville, PA

Now, to say we left in a hurry would be an understatement.  We were just so excited to be given the ok to get out of town, that everything else more or less fell to the wayside.  Now, if you know me, you know that I don't do so well when things aren't planned out.  I'd say this quadruples for things like cross country trips.  Never the less, we haphazardly mapped out a route and picked some affordable pet friendly hotels along the way, without really checking too many reviews on each one (I usually go a little user review crazy). 

What's nice to someone, may be a complete snake pit to someone else.  I'm pretty sure that's what happened when it comes to Frackville, PA.  Stopping in Pennsylvania was hard enough considering there's not a whole lot between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, but finding a pet friendly hotel is even harder.  Since we'd been living in a Rodeway Inn all this time, we figured we knew it wouldn't be great, but it would be livable.  We. Were. Dead. Wrong.

This hotel will without a doubt go down in history as the worst hotel we've ever had the pleasure of staying the night in.  As soon as we pulled up we knew it was less than ideal, but just as Colin was saying "if you want to go somewhere else we can..." Lao Tzu was throwing up in his carrier.  He made it through the whole four hours and waited until we were literally pulling in to this gross hotel to throw up everywhere.  At that point we were pretty much exhausted and figured one night wouldn't kill us and decided to stay.

As soon as we parked and got something to eat I made a trip to the local walmart to get some things for the trip.  While there I saw: 2 grown men in camo pajamas (at 7pm), 1 man drink out of a juice carton and put it back, and 1 Walmart that doesn't sell bottled water (what the what?).  Discouraged, I headed back towards the hotel only to pass by a maximum security state penitentiary.  Upon further phone googling I quickly found that not only is Frackville home to this prison I had driven by (that was .2 miles from our hotel), but that there were 3 more within a 6 mile radius from where I was.  Awesome. That definitely explained why the staff didn't ask me for any information (including an ID) when I checked in.  After that I couldn't drive back and unload the car fast enough.  As I did, the guy who lived next to us mentally inventoried everything I was taking out of the car (presumably to decide if we had anything worth breaking in for, which it seems we didn't). 

I will never stay in a random town without a thorough google search again.

Part 3: Toledo, OH

After a pretty successful (and windy) 7 hour drive we finally made it to Toledo, OH!  The La Quinta we're staying in has the most comfortable bed we've slept in in weeks, and the room couldn't be nicer (what a relief!).  The cats are happy, we're happy, and now we're just biding our time until we can get back on the road to head to Madison, WI tomorrow.  We should make it to Poulsbo by next Tuesday, and we can't wait to see our house!  It's been almost 7 months since poor Colin has even see what we've been paying mortgage for all this time.

Cross your fingers that our trip continues to go well, and I'll do my best to update whenever we have internet!!

Congratulations are in order...

again for my dear husband Lieutenant Junior Grade Podelnyk.  That's right, little ol' Colin has moved up in the world and is no longer an Ensign.  As of today you may refer to him as Lieutenant Podelnyk, or sir :)  Whatever works best for you.

Now enjoy these highly embarrassing photos from the first Navy ball we went to together back in 2006.   Apparently we didn't take any pictures together. 

From the ridiculously silly look on my face, and the ridiculously serious look on his, you would think we were polar opposites.  Extra credit to Alex (who is also sporting a ridiculously silly look) for noticing that we weren't :)

Overlooked Achievements *Disclaimer: This is 100% brag post :)

With all of the chaos surrounding our not move, I feel like something awesome was overlooked.  My wonderful husband Colin (who ferociously fought against this posting), graduated from Submarine Officer Basic School (SOBC) at the top of his class, and received the L.Y. Spear award - thus completing his training as a nuclear officer.  The first L.Y. Spear award was given to the SOBC class honorman in June of 1938.  As a result he got a cool award to add to his collection, and a beautiful engraved watch.  I couldn't be more proud!

Here are some links to news websites where his accomplishment was published:
The Day Connecticut News

Sub School Website

*You can find the same article reposted some other places, you just have to search for Colin Podelynk.  What can I say, it's a tough name :)

Not to mention, next week he gets promoted to LTJG (Lieutenant Junior Grade)!  What an awesomely smart husband I have :)

Update:  Since some people have asked, and I should have made it more clear, the L.Y. Spear award is for "class honorman (highest gpa) in recognition of his overall superior academic performance."

A weeks worth of updates

I wish I had better news to share, but we're definitely at a standstill here in CT.  Colin has a preliminary appointment with Navy med on May 31st that he's been trying to get moved up to no avail.  So right now we're just hanging out trying to make the most of this time together.  He's been told that even if everything goes perfectly at his appointment, it will probably still be at least a month before his new waver arrives (from wherever it is they come from).  It's discouraging news, but there's nothing we can do so we went exploring instead of pouting!

This week we went hiking at the Gillette Castle State Park in East Haddam, CT.  Of course I spent the majority of the time being completely distracted by the most giant tadpoles and frogs I've ever seen in the wild.  I'm talking Goliath (our frog who was adopted by the Schlotz's when we moved) Pixie frog sized.  I also almost stepped on a giant water snake that was well hidden in the grass and was too fast to get a picture of.  The best part is that I almost stepped on it, but it went after Colin :) 

(click on the images to see them larger - especially the panoramic)

Gillette Castle

The view from the castle

A giant frog in the water.  They were everywhere!

It's tough to see, but there is a log in the middle covered in a bunch of turtles.

Attack of the giant tadpoles!  There were regular sized ones too, but they're so small you can't even see them in this picture!

The pond where all of this awesome stuff lived.

We've also been actively looking into buying a new car.  After testing out the removable roof rack on our drive from NY to CT, there is just no way that it's going to work long term as we hopefully make our way to WA soon.  We've test driven a bunch of different midsized SUVs, and researched a ton, but we still haven't settled on anything.  It'll be sad to see Versa go, but she's just too small for us now.  I think we've narrowed it down to a Honda CR-V, Toyota Rav4, Jeep Liberty, Ford Escape, or Hyundai Santa Fe.  Driving all over Connecticut to visit different dealers has definitely made the time fly by, and has allowed us to see all sorts of cute little towns we never would have known existed.  We even accidentally stumbled upon Yale one day on our way home! 

So that's it for now!  I'll be sure to update as soon as we have more news.  Like I said before, our cell reception is horrible, and we never know when the internet is going to be working, so if you tried to get a hold of us and couldn't, I'm sorry!

Do you have any suggestions of what we should see while were in Connecticut?  Is one SUV better than another?  Leave any insight you may have in the comments!

Sometimes things just don't go as planned

As some of you may already know, our move across the country has taken a little detour.  We are currently living in a no-tell motel in Waterford, CT until some administrative issues get worked out. 

This whole mess started last Monday.  I had woken up early to get ready for the movers on Wednesday, and I got a devastating text from Colin saying “stop packing, we’re not moving.”  Of course I had a panic attack, and called right away.  He couldn’t talk so I had to wait a few hours for him to get back to me.  It turns out that Navy med found a typo in one of his medical wavers, and sent it up for review (yes, as in a spelling error).  It then found it’s way to someone who disagreed with the waver, and felt that his testing was never completed for a heart condition he’s had since birth, but doesn’t affect his work and was corrected through surgery when he was only months old.  This all lead to him being placed on immediate medical hold.

We went back and forth for days about what to do, because it was obviously too late to stop the move all together.  Every day was a different scenario.  I would get a call saying, “You’re moving, but I have to stay” “I can take 10 days of leave to drive you out and then I have to come back.” And finally, “They’re transferring me to Washington to figure this all out.” 

It wasn’t until all of our stuff was packed up and gone that I got the final call letting me know that as of 8am they had changed their minds, and neither of us would be leaving. So with less than a day before we were supposed to be headed out, I quickly canceled all of our hotels, called friends and family, spoke to our move coordinator, ppo rep, and moving truck driver, and frantically began calling hotels around New London to find one that would take us and our three cats for an extended stay.  After getting rejected by a handful of people, this stellar establishment said yes!  And at a great rate no less. 

So here we are.  Living in a hotel where every surface is mysteriously sticky, but we’re together and the cats are moderately happy exhausted.  Colin is working in the admin office while he waits for appointments with navy med (which is sort of like waiting for pigs to fly), and we have no idea what our timeline is.  They told us we could be here 10 days, or we could be here 3 months (their original estimation).  Lets just hope for the former!  

Julius sleeping with Ming passed out in the top left corner

The black exhausted blob that is Lao Tzu

Of course as I have endless amounts of time with nothing to do and spotty at best internet (the guy at the front desk thinks it mysteriously stopped working because it’s humid outside), a million things are running through my head.  We have a mortgage to pay starting in June, I have a job lined up in Washington that’s supposed to start in June, our stuff arrives at our new house on the 31^st, and if we’re not there it’ll be put in storage where we have to schedule delivery two weeks out.  Can I survive 3 months in this crappy motel?  Does this Lt. Commander have the power to completely derail Colin’s career and everything he’s been working for since joining the Navy?  These may all be valid concerns, but the bottom line is that we have no answers, and no options.  We’re here, so we may as well make the best of it!  Keeping with that mindset, I made a top 5 list (a la John Cusack) of all the reason why being in Connecticut isn’t so bad:

1. Great lobster bisk at Smarty’s Restaurant
2. Sarge’s Comics (a giant comic store with awesome Joss Whedon section)
3. NYC is just a mere 2 hours away and I still have $16 on a subway metro card
4. They have Dairy Queen here!
5. I’m not in WA while Colin’s in CT, we’re together.*

(*Of course, the disclaimer is that these are in no particular order, and yes, I’m aware that some of them are a stretch)

Like I said, the internet here pretty much sucks and so does my cell reception, but I’ll do my best to update as we move along in this process and someone does start giving us answers.  Hopefully we’ll be back on course in no time!

Making a cross country move

Since this is something that's been in the forefront of everything I do lately, I figured I'd give some insight into making a cross country move.  This will be our second time driving for a week to get to our new house, and it can definitely be a stressful time.  No matter how much you like each other, a week in a car in the middle of nowhere can bring out the worst in people.  Luckily, arriving at your destination can usually erase all of that tension and replace it with pure excitement!  Here's a list of the top 10 things we've learned, and will definitely be keeping in mind, when planning a cross country move.

1.  Even though you may think you need every little thing, having space in the car is more important.
When we traveled from Corvallis, OR to Charleston, SC we packed the car to the brim (we drive a tiny little Nissan Versa hatchback).  The worst part was that we mostly took with us things we didn't really need.  It was so bad that not only did the cats suffer from lack of room, but the floor space below the passenger seat was so cramped that you couldn't straighten out your legs without putting them on the dashboard.  Not only is this dangerous, but right around day 4 you'll really be kicking yourself that you're so cramped up and sore.  I'm pretty sure this is the number one thing Colin remembers about our first big move.

2.  Your stuff is going to get there well after you do, not matter what they tell you.
We've never had a move where our stuff was available before we were ready to receive it.  Usually, it actually gets there at least a week later.  This means you're pretty much camping out, or staying at a hotel until it arrives.  The best advice I can give you is to make peace with this, and just relinquish control (something that's tough for me, too).  There is nothing you can do to make it go faster, so prepare for it ahead of time, and try to make it a fun experience!

3. Only pack what you need in the car.
One thing we definitely learned the hard way was what is worth taking.  The first time we moved we took all of this entertainment (ds, books, magazines, games, computers, movies, etc.), when we should have taken things with more practical uses.  Here's a quick list of what we will never move without (provided you choose to stay in an empty house, and not at a hotel):

• Towels - This sounds silly, but trust me.
• Toilet paper - This sounds even sillier, but once you get to the new house and realize you don't have any, it wont seem so silly anymore.
• Shower curtain - Also super important.
• Folding chairs - The worst thing about being in an empty house, is not having anywhere to sit.
• Air mattress, pillows, and sleeping bags - These are usually easily packed and take up hardly any space.  Your backs will thank you.
• Reusable dishes and silverware - A much more green friendly alternative to buying paper everything.  It also helps keep the eating out to a minimum.  We have a great set of picnic ware for four people that we bring with us that we received as a wedding gift (Thanks Megan!).
• Garbage bags - There are so many uses for garbage bags, and chances are you'll find many of them before your stuff arrives.
• Multipurpose cleaning products - If you're anything like me, even if your new home was cleaned before you get there, you'll probably still want to do some disinfecting.  I usually bring disinfectant wipes, a handheld vacuum, and maybe something like Pine Sol.

4. Use the time without your stuff to explore your new town!
Since there's no real reason to be stuck at home, go out and explore!  Find the grocery and some fun restaurants!  Time your drive to your new job.  Meet your new neighbors.  All these things will keep you plenty busy, and the days will just fly by until your household goods shipment gets there.  Not to mention this time off is something that should be treasured.  In the navy, Colin gets 10 days free leave to move, so treat it like a vacation!


5.  If you're traveling with pets, find hotels that don't mind your little critters.
Colin's number one complaint about moving is sneaking the cats into sub par hotel rooms.  Taking each one by one with a blanket over the carrier, just crossing your fingers that no one meows (and lets face it, at least one always does), is stressful to say the least.  A lot of hotels charge ridiculous amounts for pets, so it's worth it to hunt for the ones that don't.  As of this year, La Quinta is a 100% pet friendly hotel chain with no additional charges.  In addition to this, they are also updating all of their hotels.  We're staying at a few during this move, so I'll let you know how it goes.  Other hotel chains we've tried are Sandman Inn and Suites (definitely recommended) and Roadway Inn (Not recommended).  Chains we haven't tried are Red Roof Inn, Best Western, and Motel 6.  As always, check with individual hotels before you make your reservation just to be sure.

6.  Keep your days to a minimum of 4 hours per driver.
Sometimes it can't be helped if you're set on a destination, but for safety, and enjoyability, it's important to keep the hours down.  Especially if you're traveling for multiple days.  Colin and I like to keep it to 8 hours and have a great system - he wakes me up and rolls me out of bed around 6, drives the first four hours, and then by the time lunch rolls around and I'm awake it's time for my turn!

7.  Pick destinations that interest you, or where you have family to visit.
Not only is this a great way to catch up with spread out family members, but it's also a great way to explore our wonderful country!  Not to mention, if you have something to look forward too, then the days will go by much quicker than if you're just trying to make it to a sleazy hotel in Kansas City (trust me).

8.  Find some books on tape or something fun to listen to, for when you exhaust your ipod in the middle if Montana or can't stand to hear one more of your spouses renditions of Rent.
I say this with caution, because it's actually really tough for me to drive and listen to a book on tape.  To say that I'm easily distracted is an understatement, and the voices most book on tape readers use are dangerously soothing.  However, I do like listening while Colin drives, and since he loves to listen and drive it works out great.  Instead of putting him to sleep the way it does me, it actually helps him stay awake.

9.  Think of some fun car games to play when the freeways get long and never ending.
I know this sounds sort of silly, but trust me it's worth it.  And I'm not talking about for the kids.  America is great, but there are definitely boring stretches of highway out there.  The one we loved to play as we drove across country was the licence plate game.  We even played it over walkie talkies on our way to New York.  If you're unfamiliar, here are the rules:  Keep your eyes open for license plates that differ from the state that you're in.  Once you find one, write it down!  The goal is to get all 50 before reaching your destination.  We've played this game on both of our big moves, and haven't gotten them all yet!  It's surprisingly fun, and you can up the ante by keeping track of who finds the most. 


10.  Remember, this isn't forever.
This is definitely the most important thing I can say.  When the drive seems never ending, when you can't imagine eating out one more night, and when it feels like your stuff must have gotten lost in the middle of nowhere, remember that things will return to normal.  Two to three weeks is nothing in the big scheme of things, so stick it out and try and make the best of this turbulent time!


Do you have any moving tips to share?  Something you wished you would have known before a big trip? Put it in the comments!

Feeding the movers

With the move approaching fast (I know I have been going on and on about it, but I'm just so excited!), I've been thinking a lot about what to feed these guys.  They are going to be here for three days (2 to pack, 1 to load), so just the regular old donuts and pizza isn't going to cut it three days in a row.  The only other time we've had the packing spread out like this was when we moved from Corvallis to Charleston, and they were out before lunch on the second day.  When we moved to NY, our packers stayed for over 12 hours, so we fed them donuts, pizza, and five guys (there were only 3 of them). 

The thing that makes this so tough is that I will be here alone, and don't really like the idea of leaving them in the house while I run to get food.  Whatever I feed them has to be something I can order in, or have prepared the night before. 

This is where you come in - I need suggestions!  What meals do you have ready for movers when pizza just isn't going to cut it? If you were a mover, what (inexpensive) food would you like to receive on the job?  Help!

(Image courtesy of thelonestarmover.com)

The loneliness of secrecy

A friend of mine emailed me these pictures this week (as always, click on the images to see them larger), and I just have to share.  Since we are about two weeks away from leaving for our first real non training duty station, I've been thinking a lot about how true it is that the submarine faction of our military really is the "silent service" in more ways than one.  Already we've run into situations where not only can Colin not share his day with me, but I can't share things with our friends and family either.  This is especially hard for me because I share just about everything with my close friends and family.  Keeping something from them, especially when it's about something so big, is really tough for me.  It's definitely going to be one of the hardest things about this lifestyle that I'll have to learn to adjust to. 

In all honesty, during our time with the navy I've probably already over shared at some point, mostly just because I didn't know any better.  Luckily, until now it hasn't been too big of a deal, and the "classified" or "top secret" information Colin has told me about I either don't fully understand, or couldn't find another person who would be interested in hearing about it to share with.  However, this is all about to change because now we're in the big leagues :)

Things like scheduling, and what he does during his days at work seem so trivial to a civilian normal person.  If I had a business trip to go on, you can bet that everyone in my immediate life would know all about my schedule and why I was going.  This just isn't a luxury Colin has.  I don't want to get too "big brother,"  but what it really comes down to is his safety - which is and always will be a top concern of mine.  When you look at it in terms of life or death (drastic, I know), keeping quiet doesn't seem like such a big sacrifice to make. 

This is also why it is so important to find a good group of fellow spouses that are going through the same thing.  They are quiet possibly the only people you can confide in, in both times of happiness and sadness.  So here's to hoping this new batch is ready and willing for just one more addition!  

With all that being said, as a future preface for those unavoidable awkward conversations - if you ask me something navy related and I get all run aroundy and fidgety, understand that I'm learning, and that if I could share, I definitely would.

Guest Blogger Tuesday

Today our guest blogger is Mrs. Beth Foster.  Beth is a navy wife that I met during my time in Charleston, and she's going to be giving some tips about surviving this crazy life we live!  Aside from being a full time Navy wife and mom to little Evie, she also runs a blog called Smooth Couponer, which is definitely worth checking out!  Read on to find out more about what she's learned since jumping aboard!

The Foster Family

Ball and Chain-of-Command:

How to Survive and Thrive as a Navy Family

I will never forget my husband’s first week on a ship. After getting married, leaving my house, my work, and my friends we trekked from Annapolis, Maryland all the way to San Diego, California. After staying in a hotel for a week while we were waiting to move into our apartment, my husband came home and broke the news to me: the ship was leaving for two weeks.

My response was not as understanding as I wish it had been. In fact, it was totally selfish. “Leaving?” I exclaimed, “I don’t even know how to get to the grocery store!” And so began our Navy experienced. At that moment I realized that he wasn’t in the Navy, we were in the Navy. Two years later, when our daughter was born, I knew what we had gotten ourselves into, and I knew that we could handle it.

Though the life of a Navy wife is tough, the life of a Navy wife and mom is even tougher, but I can say without any reservations that my child has probably one of the most amazing childhoods for which one could ask. I am not professing to be an expert on motherhood or Navy life, but I have lived this lifestyle for a while now and I am proud to say that we have survived and thrived bringing her up with her dad in the Navy. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way.

1. How things work out for you is 95% attitude, 5% circumstances.

To say that I had a bad attitude about living in San Diego would be a gross understatement. I hated leaving everything I worked so hard for to go across the country and have to start all over. My husband was constantly gone, I had no job (it took me about 8 months to find one), I had no friends, no church, no family, no support, and, honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. Filing for moving expenses back, trying to get my medical insurance set up, trying to find a government job- I had no clue what I was doing and no idea who to ask. (The Navy still owes us about $2,000 for doing a Do-It-Yourself , or DITY, move. Despite filing our receipts over and over again, they still claim that they do not owe us almost four years later.)

 To add insult to injury the ship that my husband was stationed on had no family or spousal social groups until about a year after we arrived. I was just plain mad: mad at the Navy, mad at the ship, mad at my husband for leaving, and mad at my circumstances. The truth is that my husband didn’t ask to be sent underway, he didn’t want me to be miserable and he wished there was a spousal support group to which I could belong. The circumstances were crummy, but it was my defeated attitude made my entire two years in San Diego awful, not the Navy.

Fast-forward two years to being stationed in Charleston, SC. Within a month of being there I realized that there was, again, no spousal social group and several young married sailors who were experiencing the Navy for the first time in Charleston. Knowing that many of these young women would be like me at our first duty station, I hosted a very small Christmas party for the wives. Of the 15 or so that attended I believe that everyone had a good time, and we were able to meet a few other times during our husbands’ assignment to the base. Just from deciding that I was going to make the best of my circumstances, I ended up with great friends and having a lot of fun with these great ladies. I still keep in touch with most all of them.  

Now, saying all of this is not for the purpose of patting myself on the back or bragging, but simply to illustrate how I had made up my mind when we got to Charleston that it would be a good duty station and, by golly, I was going to make it a good duty station no matter what.

Bear in mind that your attitude is something your children are constantly monitoring. Have you ever heard the quote, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? This quote is so true. Mothers are the heart of the home and so often are the only visible parent in Navy life. If you have the attitude that the next move or change is going to be an adventure, your kids will, too. Get excited about it! Before we moved I spent the whole month before telling my daughter about how she was getting a new house and acting like it was the coolest ever. Kids need to see your excitement. Tell them about the awesome new changes coming their way. There is always a silver lining. Maybe there is a park close to your new house, maybe a neighbor that is just their age down the street, maybe your new house is only a few hours to Disneyland, etc. If you act excited about the upcoming change, not only will your children feed off of it, but you’ll be surprised how much it can sway your own attitude by focusing solely on the positive.

2. Take advantage of every chance you have to make your new duty station more like home.

For my family it is so important to make your new assignment feel like a home. Get out of the house and explore the area. Find parks, local attractions, go to the beach, the aquarium, the zoo, the botanical garden, and the national parks. Learn your new city by living in your new city. People who live somewhere know what there is to do, so get out and do. I have made the mistake of not taking full advantage of the area in which I live and I have regretted it over and over again. Be pro-active and be positive. Make exploring your new city an adventure! Get your kids involved and take them to the concerts in the park or the children’s museum, or the farmer’s market. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to find fun and culture.

3. Meet new people

When you are new to an area make sure that you are not isolating yourself or your family. The two biggest tips for this are: get your kids involved in extracurricular activities and find a church. The activities for your kids can be anything from Brownies to Karate, free story time at the public library to equestrian lessons. Either way, get your kids around other kids. It not only lets you get to socialize with the other parents, but also helps them to feel connected to the area and the people.

My biggest tip is to find a church. I cannot begin to tell you all of the incredible things my church friends I have done for myself and my family. Many churches will have fellowship groups for specific stages of life: singles, young married without children, married with children, etc. Before I made friends at church I thought I needed Navy wives for support, but I really just needed support in general. My non-Navy friends often flatter me by telling me that they have no idea how I do it, be a Navy wife, that is. They are often in awe of our circumstances and our lifestyle and when we need support they are the first people to give it.

Church groups, if Christ-centered and Biblically sound, are also the least judgmental of any group. If you are not a Christian and believe that all church groups are hypocritical and condemnatory, I would submit to you that they are not. People are not perfect and there are definitely some people who are not living life in a Christ-centered way while part of the church, but the truth is that the majority of people at church are not there to judge people or to be part of a social club. They are there to try their hardest to be like Christ, which makes these friends not only the most supportive friends, but my closest and most precious friends.  

4. Make peace with your circumstances

I know that when we first began this Navy journey I thought I knew what we were getting into; I was completely wrong. I had no idea about the long the hours, the seemingly endless separation, the constant moving, and the lack of support from the Navy. That said, eight years after our journey began, I can say that I have finally made peace with our circumstances. I have had to accept the fact that my husband has absolutely no say on when the ship leaves, when we move, where we move, and how long he will be gone. It is easy to blame them for your circumstances, and it’s even harder to not blame him when it was his decision to join the Navy, not yours. It’s true; I didn’t choose to join the Navy, I didn’t choose the Nuclear path for him, I didn’t choose the Naval Academy for him, I didn’t choose our first two duty stations, he did because we weren’t yet married. But I chose him.

My husband told me on our first date that he was planning on going to the Naval Academy, he told me that he couldn’t get married until he graduated, and he told me that he would be deployed. Despite his warnings, there is nothing like getting hit in the face with orders to a place you didn’t want to go or realizing that his six month deployment has been turned into a nine month deployment. This lifestyle is hard. As Tom Hanks said in A League of Their Own, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it weren’t hard everyone would do it.” Now, he was talking about baseball, but I remind myself of that quote often. I am doing something that not everyone can do. I am a strong woman and I can take care of myself and my child no matter the circumstances.

I gave up a career to be a full-time wife and mom, because I, personally, cannot handle both, and I am ok with that. I may have graduated from college early, with honors and done it on a full scholarship. I may have worked for years to build a career, but I have made peace with myself and my decision to be a wife and mom full-time.

I am well-educated, yet I stay at home with our daughter to try to do what is best for her. I am married, yet independent. I am on my own, yet I have friends (Navy and civilian) who would bend over backwards for me. I am a wife and mom, yet I am a gardener, an accountant, a chef, a nurse, a personal assistant, a professional shopper, a friend, a dog walker, a nanny, a mentor, and financial planner. The truth is that I am happy in my Navy lifestyle. I am happy to be “just” a wife and mom. I am happy to move every year or two. I am happy to set up a new house. I am happy to see my husband succeed at his job. I am proud to enable my husband to serve our country by taking care of our home.

Whoever said “A Navy wife is the toughest job in the Navy” wasn’t kidding. I am a Navy wife and I am proud of it.

 What weapons do you have in your arsenal to help you survive the Navy lifestyle? And most importantly, how do you explain to civilians about the demands of being "just" a Navy wife?

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!

As a navy wife, I feel like I have to write a post about how frustrating it can be to have so little control over everything military related.  As I've said before, we're in the  middle of moving and buying a house - all while Colin is away on temporary unaccompanied orders in Connecticut.  This pretty much means I'm up to my ears in power of attorney's (POAs) and phone conversations that end in, "well ma'am, as soon as we can get the signed paperwork from your husband we can move forward."  The catch is, he's not available to sign anything!  Luckily, he's only about 3.5 hours away, so driving all the way down there isn't completely out of the question, but I can see how this would be an impossible situation if we were any further apart (say, Charleston to Connecticut).

Me and my sailor (and yes, I was just as exhausted as I looked)

In my opinion, once you're married you should have the freedom to coordinate your moves.  It's inherent in the military that one spouse is going to be spending a lot of time out of reach.  If they expect the other to pick up the slack and get things done, then we should have the privileges to make that possible.  I feel like I shouldn't have to be designated an "agent" for my husband in order to receive our property.  It's all just such a weird system. I couldn't even check into a hotel on base without Colin's orders.  I have a military ID, I jump through the military hoops, I should get the military benefits.

On the flip side, I understand that the privelges that come with marrying someone in the military (including basic things like information on their whereabouts), leads to people making hasty decisions about getting married in the first place.  And this leads to a lot of bad choices when they realize it's not for them.  Then presto! Spouse restrictions are born!

I don't know what the solution is, I just know how frustrating it can be when you're stuck somewhere, unable to make any decisions without signed authorization from your partner. 

Does anyone else have any military frustrations to share?  Feel free to vent in the comments!

Buying a Short Sale House

For the past few months my husband and I have been going through one of the most stressful processes known to man: trying to buy a short sale house.  Today, we got the great news that we'll be closing by the end of the month, so I figured I would write a little bit about our home buying experience so far.

First off, I want to clarify that buying a short sale can be a great deal.  However, it's also not for the faint of heart, or those in a hurry to move in.  We initially chose a short sale because we had finally gotten orders to WA, and had about three months to find a home.  Little did we know that three months isn't near enough time.  The name is so deceptive! :)

Here is the definition of a short sale from wikipedia: A short sale is a sale of real estate in which the sale proceeds fall short of the balance owed on the property's loan.  It often occurs when a borrower cannot pay the mortgage loan on their property, but the lender decides that selling the property at a moderate loss is better than pressing the borrower. Both parties consent to the short sale process, because it allows them to avoid foreclosure, which involves hefty fees for the bank and poorer credit report outcomes for the borrowers. This agreement, however, does not necessarily release the borrower from the obligation to pay the remaining balance of the loan, known as the deficiency.

After reading that, you'd think that a bank would be quick to sell these properties, in hopes of keeping them out of foreclosure.  However, it was a foreclosure notice that finally got the bank rolling on our offer (nearly four months after we initially presented it).

Here are the top things we wish someone would have told us, before we entered into a short sale contract:

1.  Be ready to offer full price.
This isn't like a regular sale where the seller is ready to bargain with you.  Whatever the list price is, is usually the price agreed upon between the bank and the seller to minimize loss.  In our case, it was almost $45,000 below the appraised value of the home - so you are still getting a good deal!

2.  Make sure you have at least 6 months of wiggle room before you need to move in, but the flexibility to move in earlier if need be.
Since you're dealing with a bank, you never know what the timeline is going to look like.  Even with the best realtor and mortgage broker it's tough to guess what a bank is thinking and what their time lines are.  They're in charge, and can pretty much do whatever they want.  The bank we were dealing with broke deadlines written in contracts multiple times, but this also allowed us to threaten to walk away or change what we were asking for, so it could work in your favor.

3.  Nominate one person to be the point of contact for the realtor and the mortgage broker, but use speaker or conference for those important phone calls.
Having everyone contact me instead of trying to get a hold of either Colin or I, made things so much easier and also facilitated a relationship between all of us that allowed me to be frank with them when I needed to be, and provided consistency for them when looking to get a hold of someone.  However, after multiple conversations where I would try and reiterate exactly what they had said to me back to Colin, we decided to let our realtor know that if it was really important, we would like a call in the evening so we could speaker phone and both be part of the conversation.  This was essential in our cross country dealings.

4.  If you aren't within driving distance, plan for at least two visits.
We had to make two visits across country throughout this process, one to find the house, and another when I thought I was going to have to look for a new one, but ended up doing an inspection instead!  I would say that because the process is so lengthy, it's good to see the house again closer to closing not only to remind yourself of what you're buying, but also to check in on how it's doing.  Since it will more than likely be vacant, it's nice to know if things have gone down hill since you were last there.  For instance, when I went back a second time I found out that part of the back fence had fallen down.  It's now something I can plan for/save money to fix once we get there.  It was also nice to be there for the inspection so he could show me exactly what he was talking about, but I think the report was good enough that it would have been fine to have the realtor there for us if we couldn't make it.

5.  Find a realtor you can really trust, be honest with, and who has your best interest in mind.
Since this is a long, drawn out process that you have little control over, it is so important to have someone who understands your needs representing you throughout the process. We had a realtor who represented both the buyers and the sellers, which we initially thought would make her more driven to seal the deal, but it actually left her more conflicted about who she was fighting for with the bank.  *Aside:  If you're in the military, it's important to have a realtor who understands that our schedules are super unpredictable and can change at the drop of a hat.  Having no control over the house you're buying and the military doubles the stress.

6.  When it comes time to sign the papers, be ready to move at the drop of a hat!
When the bank decides it wants to close, there's nothing you can do to slow it down, and it could be longer or shorter than you had planned.  Be sure you have access to a computer, fax machine, notary, and fed ex so that you can send and receive documents at any time.
*Aside:  For military buyers, keep in mind that if your husband is deployed or out of town, the bank will only accept a POA for either opening or closing documents, so make sure you are both available for one or the other.  If you need to get documents noterized, navy legal will do it for free.

That's it!  I know this is one of my longer posts, but there is a lot of information that goes into buying a short sale.

Our new home!

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them!  I'll also update on the closing process once we move into our new home!

Honey-Do Lists

I like to pretend that I'm a super independent girl who could figure out a way to fix/take care of anything.  In reality, my awesome husband allows me to harbor this delusion by getting things done around the house that I wouldn't even know how to begin.  Every time I ask him to hang a picture for me he says "You know you're perfectly capable of doing this yourself, right?" and reminds me that someday I'll have to learn, since he wont always be there to help (thanks, Navy!).  Although the vote of confidence is nice, he always ends up taking care of it for me.  While the picture scenario may be just an example, and I probably could do it myself, the real reason I always ask him is my horrible sense of when things are straight.  My parents can attest to years of asking "How does this look? Is it crooked?" and then stepping down to find out that I was totally off.  Putting a nail in a rental house wall is just so permanent! :)

For those of you who don't know, Colin is currently in Connecticut for two months finishing up training for the navy.  While he's there, I'm in upstate NY keeping up our 100 year old rental house.  We've been living here for about a year, and have definitely seen our share of issues (the furnace going out at least twice in the middle of snowstorms, windows that don't close just right, walls falling down in the basement, squeaky floors that made it impossible for me to get things done while Colin slept during the day on the night shift, etc.).  That being said, it really is a great house.  It's got tons of character and quirks!

In the fall for Halloween

Ever since Colin left, I've been noticing things that need fixing/keeping up, and just sort of figuring out a way to live around them until he comes for a visit next weekend.  The hallway light is out, the dishwasher is leaking, and the yard looks like it's been under five feet of snow for the last six months.  I'm perfectly capable of fixing all of these things (just as Colin would remind me), but for some reason I've just naturally started compartmentalizing them as things I need him to take care of.

Our house decorated for Christmas!

In an effort to get myself ready for the inevitable three month deployments in my future, I'm pledging to start trying to do these things on my own, and throwing out the "honey-do" list.  This new me of course, will be making it's debut after Colin's visit this weekend.  I mean, I've made it this far, right? :)

For all of you military wives out there (and the regular kind too!), what have you found yourself relying on someone else in your household to do?  How do you change your ways once deployments or training rolls around?